kali pornia

i want to be more like the ocean. no talking and all action.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

post coital romance...

"say something nice to me"
"you're hot"
"nnoooo something nice..."
...
"you're a nice lady."
"that's it?"
"uhm. you're a good driver."

: )

Sunday, May 27, 2007

i guess boredom is the answer

to blogger's block.

would that be called blblock or bblock or perhaps blogck. blogck. heh that sounds dirty. i like it.

so i'm at my parent's house on the eastern shore of virginia. for the long weekend. i brought all 5 dogs down. thank g-d E let me borrow his truck else i'd have been even crazier by the time i left b-more.

puppies screaming form the back as i run to giant for one last errand. dogs everywhere, health insurance credit card won't swipe, i use the other one go to get fennel for my dad because you can't find it on the eastern shore, realize i forgot my liscence in my motorcycle jacket, trying to activate my new phone says i need an order number from the packing slip, hell i have to go back anyway, puppies sceraming they have no idea why alluva sudden their home is on wheels wtf???

anywho, i got off and now i'm here. a little vacay with my coolest uncle and my coolest cousin. all the cool kids are here. and now we're going to church. my parents church. ungh. i'm going to do my best impression of acting "as if."

i'm gonna act "as if" i don't want to kill everyone in the church. k?

Thursday, May 24, 2007

never pictured myself as a beemer girl, but...



5.0-liter, 40-valve V-10 engine with M high-pressure Double-VANOS "steplessly" variable valve timing

10 individual throttle butterflies, electronically controlled

G-sensitive semi-dry-sump lubrication system

Oil coolant heat exchanger

Digital Motor Electronics (DME) with on-board diagnostics

3-way catalytic converter with heated oxygen sensor

7-speed Sequential Manual Gearbox (SMG) with DRIVELOGIC


Dynamic Stability Control (DSC) with M Dynamic Mode (MDM)

All Season Traction with M Variable Differential Lock

Vehicle-speed-sensitive variable-assist power steering (M Servotronic) with M Driving Dynamics Control (2 settings – throttle and steering)

Aluminum double-pivot strut-type front suspension and 4-link integral rear suspension

Independent suspension with M calibration (stiffened dampers, springs and anti-roll bars; modified rear axle geometry)

Electronic Damping Control with Comfort, Normal and Sport mode

Lightweight, double-joint spring strut front axle with aluminum crossbar

Lightweight integral rear axle

4-wheel BMW M vacuum-assisted ventilated, cross-drilled anti-lock compound disc brakes (ABS)

*** just to be clear ***
MSRP $99,100
Destination & Handling $775

Thursday, May 17, 2007

just imagine the pre-production meeting...

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

holy wow i'm fucking rocky!



AND FRANK ZAPPA MIXED WITH MEL BROOKS
sorry didn't mean to yell i'm just so excited.

no rest for the weary...


"Welcome to Statistics for Business! Now that the course is full (with a wait list) I can send this out without a risk of leaving anyone out. I have attached the Blackboard enrollment instructions, and I encourage you to enroll soon because there is a reading assignment in preparation for the first class. We are operating on a compressed schedule (Only 10 weeks in which to cover a 15 week course) so we need to be as efficient as possible." -- kali's summer stats prof

Saturday, May 12, 2007

i got knocked the fuck out

last night:


this morning:


clutch show 9:30 i'm in the pit the whole time except for the hippie songs when i go back and drink some free water with murl.

i'm getting my rocks off because tomorrow night i'm taking a date and i won't really go nuts then so i'm begging for a fight but none of the jocks will get mad they all love it -- high fives all around. they fall down i pick them up they hug me a little too long say i saved their life, man this is fucking boring you people are no fun.

i'm back in the pit for round three i see some crusty old punks from the old days good to see we're not all dead. head nods go up all around, FUCK it's good to see us getting old not all of us made it some of us are fatter and have wrinkles but dammit doesn't it feel just like the old days except fewer grrls, chicks these days are pussies i blame paris hilton.

so i'm rockin and rollin and what not and in for the close up comes a meaty head BLAM to the eye, wow that's gonna hurt, FUCK whadya mean "gonna" that fucking hurts.

shit starts closing in i like to think that i chose to go down someone has my wrist my legs are jelly i'm down for the count and

out.

i wake up to some dude carrying my ass out of the pit to the front "medic medic" everyone is shouting what the fuck it's not a freaking war dude i just got clocked shit i see, my face through my eye, it seems to be swelling very fast.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

tammy faye is dying



of cancer



i'm kinda sad... she was very nice to me.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

i got a b in that class


and murl is pissed

Friday, May 04, 2007

i never thought i would write about this

but i'm having trouble keeping this blog going... i don't like when bloggers blog about not blogging but it's not what you think.

yes it is.

part of it is that i don't have time anymore. i'm busy with life these days, thanks god. the motorcycle is back on the road. i have good friends and there's good weather to enjoy. i have always felt that i did my best work while tortured (unique i know) and the fact is that i'm just not tortured right now.

this blog was started in pain. and it's best days were painful.

so now? i'm not in that much pain. eh, give me a month. heh.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

and here i thought my QDM class was over...

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): "Have you heard of the 'Nine Pregnant Women' rule?" asks businessman Scott Mills. "It takes nine months to have a baby--but you can't get the job done in one month with nine
pregnant women. That rule applies to any project: As you think about managing the time that's available to complete a project, it's critical that you identify which steps you must complete sequentially." I suggest you install the Nine Pregnant Women rule at the center of your meditations right now, Virgo. The time is right for you to gaze at the big picture of your life from on high, and then formulate a revised set of long-term plans.